Dating after Divorce
You feel like you were married to the person of your dreams and suddenly life changed without your permission. Now you are divorced, feeling awkward, lonely, and far removed from the dating scene. Now what?
Everyone needs time to adjust and get their feet back on the ground after a divorce. I generally advise at least two full years before dating is even considered, or at a very minimum one year. This is a time of healing, therapy, and deep introspect…ion, not to mention forgiveness of self and others. I also recommend at least one solid year of intense counseling to emerge whole and ready to face the world single and strong. You must experience single before you become a twosome again.
The challenge with dating too soon is you haven’t finished old business yet inside your head. Every person you attempt to relationship with will get to wear the face of your ex as you project the unresolved issues on them. You realize you are even far unhappier with that person than with your ex.
Trust is also a huge issue. By remaining single you learn to trust yourself. Someone who doesn’t trust enough to begin dating simply means they don’t trust their own decision making process.
Another thing you must do is go through the nineteen (19) stages of grief and letting go that is posted in my office. Each stage must be gone completely through. Until then you are trying to get on with new business before old business is completed. You find yourself limping along still bouncing through the unresolved issues. I recommend that you get your self-esteem back in place, make new happy memories for you and your children and work on your mental health. You deserve this time to heal, find your strength, and get your feet back on solid ground.
Blessings,
Doc